Her mind’s eye

It is a rainy day but at this moment, the sky is a clear blue and the green of the leaves of the papaya tree shine with brightness.

She lay by the pool of water, a natural Jacuzzi formed by the uneven rocks surrounding the corner. With one hand she swirls away lazily at the water and admires the ripples she creates; a gentle smile curving her lips. Her pariah watches her with a feigned aloofness. She smiles deeper.

She feels calm and connected. She feels one with nature and is in awe of Mother Earth. She looks at the blades of grass and admires their natural shine. The memory of a sharp thorn that cut her skin on her way to the waterfall reminds her to always be in the present moment or bravely bear the natural consequences.

She feels one with the flowing water. She wishes to be malleable, smooth and adaptable. She feels cocooned in comfort, secure in knowing she is blossoming as a person and living her destiny.

She is here but she is also not here. She has a script in her head that is always running, a bit like a movie. Some scenes are brilliant and some are rather mundane. Some give her hope and color and make her feel like life should certainly stand still right now, and others leave her with trepidation for a future that she would rather not imagine.

No matter whether she is awake or asleep, the movie in her head is always playing, describing moments, inferencing, communicating…with her? She is not so sure. She meets innumerable characters in these films. Some interact with her, some observe her and she observes many. She imagines every shot, every frame and wonders how her mind’s camera can be so sharp. She can’t ever imagine these movies to materialize. They seem like too much work to make anyone but her believe they exist.

But she really enjoys watching them. She enjoying playing many characters in them and emoting them. It’s her secret.